Gold Fish are Dangerous Pets

I will preface this post with - this was an organizational speech given for a class I am taking, it tickled me so much, that I wanted to write it out and post it. It is tongue in cheek for sure - 

Gold Fish are Dangerous Pets!

My name is “Fish-Killer.” I have come by it honestly, it runs in my family. It’s not that I hate fish, but it seems I have a knack for killing them. After some research though, it turns out – being a fish killer may not be a bad thing. I have learned through my many years as an attempted fish-owner that Gold Fish are dangerous pets to have. They can be emotionally damaging, dangerous for the environment and even physically dangerous! I know this is a shocking statement and this may have some reeling, but as a reformed fish killer, I do find it my responsibility to inform you!

Imagine a child’s joy of owning their first pet, maybe it was won at a fair and carried home in a plastic baggie, or maybe it was chosen after an entire afternoon at the pet store. Either way, the Gold Fish came home and soon there was a bowl and rocks! It is fed a little, it is fed a lot, before too long that beloved Gold Fish is found belly-up and it has to be flushed. Devastating -

I know that is the cycle of life…but what, just what if a child has a pet Gold Fish and goes on vacation and the parent says, “Let’s let Goldie go swimming with the ducks in their duck pool.”

What do ducks like to eat? Gold Fish!

This small child gets back from vacation and runs across the lawn to catch their precious Gold Fish only to come up empty netted – emotionally damaged for life! (The parent referred to in this scenario has since been forgiven!)

What happens to all these Gold Fish (besides the ones that are eaten by neighbor’s ducks)? Are they flushed, thrown out? How are they bad for the environment? Gold Fish excrete massive amounts of ammonia and changing the water creates toxic waste that needs to be disposed of safely. How many of these deceased fish end up in the landfill, or thrown out in the back year – just the ammonia alone has to be processed by the sewage plants or absorbed into the environment somehow…but, what about the unwanted Gold Fish that are released into the wild?

Monster Gold Fish found in Lake Tahoe have formed a colonies, some as large as 1.5 feet and weighing in at 5 pounds. These Gold Fish have proven to be a very invasive species of fish that can take over the ecosystem, eating everything in their path and growing at accelerated rates. (Arciero, 2013) It is not just a problem here in the United States but, but it is happening in the UK as well and Anglersnet.co.uk warns reader to make sure to dispose of their pet Gold Fish in an appropriate way. (Elton, 2007)

So this innocuous little Gold Fish can be damaging emotionally for a small child, or even an adult like me and even how it can be bad for the environment, but how is it physically dangerous. Since 1939 at parties, for jokes and even for frat challenges, live Gold Fish swallowing has been a popular challenge  (Meyer, 2011). Today there are YouTube that can be found with individuals swallowing live Gold Fish. Back in 1939 doctors warned of parasites, tape worms and food poison, but the warning apparently has gone unheeded. These days it is even more dangerous to swallow live Gold Fish due to the chemicals used to treat them, chemicals like Malachite Green, is used to treat fish for parasite and diseases; this chemical is a known carcinogen. I repeat, Malachite Green is known to cause cancer. Gold Fish are not intended for human consumption. (Boyle, 2010)

But, what if the average person is not intending to swallow the Gold Fish and this said person is a happy Gold Fish owner. Just imagine what happens if this unsuspecting owner changes the toxic ammonia water, slips, falls and cracks their head open in front of their child?! It is a two-fer! The child is emotionally damaged and the parent is physically hurt – Gold Fish are dangerous pets!

This cold water, ammonia producing scaled fish can be emotionally damaging, bad for the environment and physically dangerous. After many years, I have graduated from a fish killer to a happy tropical fish owner. I have a 30 gallon tank with 25 different aquatic creatures, but I will NEVER have another Gold Fish. I am truly too emotionally scarred and I would never want to put my seven year old through the kind of trauma that I have experienced.

(and yes, I am OCD enough to do a little research!)

Arciero, R. (2013, Febuary 21). Monster Gold Fish Found. Retrieved from Examiner.com: http://www.examiner.com/article/monster-goldfish-found-giant-goldfish-lake-tahoe-invading-a-real-danger

Boyle, J. (2010, Feb 14). Don't Eat Goldfish, it can Cause Cancer. Retrieved from Gold Fish Care Information: http://www.goldfishcareinformation.com/2010/02/dont-eat-goldfish-it-can-cause-cancer-and-make-you-sick.html

Elton. (2007, May 9). Anglers.co.uk. Retrieved from Dangerous Goldfish: http://www.anglersnet.co.uk/News/dangerous_goldfish.html

Meyer, A. (2011, January 12). National Museum of American History. Retrieved from The Year of the Gold Fish: http://blog.americanhistory.si.edu/osaycanyousee/2011/01/1939-the-year-of-goldfish-swallowing.html

Fearing Fortune

“Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood.”

Can I PLEASE get this on a T-shirt for my 4 (almost 5 year old)?

Honestly, I am thinking about getting it made for him. He is always worried…

We watch fireworks last night, “Mom is that going to happen to me?” Umm…what, get blown up into the air and turn into a cascading mass of sparks set to music?! Really…NO!

Most of you are familiar with Disney Pixar’s The Incredibles (if you are not, just nod your head and then GOOGLE it!), there is a short film called Jack-Jack Attack. The little baby that they think has no super power ability, gets powers while the babysitter is in charge…seriously you gotta watch it, too funny…however, my sweet boy now wants to know, is that going to happen to him.

“Frosting,” I tell him trying not to roll my eyes, “you are not going to float into air, burst into flames or shoot lasers from your eyes.”

With eyes totally round and sincere, “Are you sure?” How exactly do I reassure him without making him feel silly?!

He watches a show with a bad guy… “Mom, are there bad guys? Is a bad guy going to get me and turn me into a skeleton?”

This is a harder one, where is the balance? How do I reassure him while at the same time making him aware there are dangers in the world, and not scaring him to the point he can’t sleep? Which, by the way, he does not sleep all night in his bed, he gets up and comes to bed with us almost every night…he is scared.

“Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood.”

How do I help him understand? How do I keep him safe with a healthy fear…how do I not freak the ever living snot out of him? My heart aches for his fears, I understand (most of them), I know the feeling…don’t get me started on bridges and swimming in the lake…I know how difficult these fears can be. How can I get him to understand?

Realistically, we all have fears. You have yours, I have mine. Frosting has his. I wish that my fears were as simple and baseless as some of his…he will never have lasers shooting from his eyes, but don’t we all still worry about the boggy man?

What keeps you up at night? What do you fear beyond understanding?

(Besides the new Smurf movie?) - shuddering!

Live, Laugh, Love ~

Vanilla Mama

PS – I fear never winning the lottery (which, if I played I might have a better chance!)…1, 17, 29, 35, 38, 44.

A to Z Challenge - V

A to Z Challenge – V

And, yes I am going to go for the OBVIOUS! VANILLA! I had considered going a different route, but after a long day, being so tired and I come home and light a vanilla candle to smooth the edges out – I gotta write about Vanilla.

I know it is in my about me section, but exactly what is it about Vanilla that I love so much. Did you know that the Vanilla bean comes from an orchid? An orchid that grows as a vine, and does not bloom until it is fully grown. It is not an easy orchid to grow and the bean, of course not really a bean – they are pollinated by hummingbirds, stingless bees and of course by hand.  It is a beautiful flower that has a purpose.

As I understand the flower smells nothing like Vanilla, but has its own incredible scent. If I did not have a black thumb, I would attempt to grow it. I did attempt growing coffee at some point, and that was as my kids put it, an EPIC FAIL!

I find the scent of Vanilla relaxing and familiar – as a flavor, it stands on its own and enhances other flavors. I would like to think that I am a little like that – I can stand on my own, but with others I am stronger and can help enhance.

I know I am not the only Vanilla Mama out there, based on email address availability and user names on different boards and account. Some places you will find me as Vanilla Mama, Vanilla Mommy or even Nilla Mama. At some point I am sure my grandkids will call me Nilla – hehe – you never know.

So, that is my V post – Vanilla. Do you have something that you feel a little crazy about? For some people it is baseball, football for me it is Vanilla. I have other obsessions, I think I am an obsessive person in general – but, at least this one is a good one. When you think of Vanilla, you may just remember me.

Live, Laugh, Love ~

Vanilla Mama

A to Z Challenge - I

Oh, My Ice Cream Obsession!

A to Z Challenge – I

I is of course for Ice Cream!

I really did not know how much I loved Ice Cream (notice capital letters – it is that wonderful!) until I got pregnant with Frosting. –If you are wondering who Frosting is, you are going to have to go back at this post! – I mean, I always knew Ice Cream was good, I would eat it with my Grandparents when we visited – I remember Neapolitan the most, it goes great with birthday cake…and then fast forward to my pregnancy.

I was already overweight, but I fell in love all over again with Ice Cream in my first trimester. Really, really loved Haagan Das Dulce de Leche, Moose Tracks, and anything creamy with chocolate or peanut butter (and honestly if it didn’t have peanut butter in it I would add it on the top – but alas, that is another obsession for another post!) Fast forward to high blood pressure, gestational diabetes and BED REST, not all because of Ice Cream – I was already overweight and under a lot of stress, and totally in love with Ice Cream and other things we won’t mention right now, but I am quite sure that it did not help any.

These days, 80 pounds lighter, I have a healthier approach to Ice Cream – for the most part. I will admit that I have a true weak spot…Cherry Garcia Ice Cream Bars! Notice, I said Ice Cream Bar – not the Ice Cream. Oh My Heavens – that thing, that magnificent piece of Ice Cream confectionery magic, that ice cold, creamy crunchy bit of magical Ice Cream Heaven – I almost wish I had never laid eyes on it, let alone touched my tongue to it. At the end of nearly every shift I would treat myself to this masterpiece of Ice Creamness….but, then the terrible, terrible thing happened!! The Good Humor Man, yes…you read that right…The Good Humor Man, that until that moment I would have called a dear and true friend because he brought my beloved Cherry Garcia Ice Cream Bars to our cooler at work, told me that our store would no longer carry that bar!!!

WHAT?!?!

It was being replaced by another product!

WHAT?!?!

Any other sane, normal, non-obsessed person would shrug and say, “Oh Well.” But, not your Vanilla Mama….

There were NINE left in the freezer and guess how many I bought….NINE!!

Not my proudest moment. Really, really not my proudest moment. ***Shrug*** They will a laugh about that for a very long time!

What was I supposed to do? I bought them and put them in the break room freezer and enjoyed them over the next few weeks – and now – now, they are GONE!

I have eaten the last one, and I do not know where I can find them again. I have tried replacing this obsession with a different Ice Cream bar that we have – but I just cannot work it up. It is NOT the Cherry Garcia Ice Cream Bar…and before you even ask…YES, I have tried the Ice Cream you can get at the grocery store and even the Ben and Jerry’s store that is up the road and it IS NOT THE SAME!!! SO, SO NOT!!

I is for Ice Cream and I guess for now I am going Ice Cream-less! Until I find the next thing I just LOVE – I refuse to spend unnecessary calories on something I don’t absolutely LOVE!

(in a hushed whisper – “if you happen to know anywhere in the DFW area that sells Cherry Garcia Ice Cream Bars – feel free to e-mail, leave a comment, or IM me! I am not THAT proud! – haha-“)

Live, Laugh, Love ~

Vanilla Mama

What is this Madness?

There are a lot of funny boat stories that I could get into, and probably will over time – I guess I should start off with why I do not swim in lakes, yes, LOVE boats – will NOT swim in lakes. (Hesitant about the ocean – but I can deal with it, somewhat – but that is another story.)

There is actually more than one reason, but the first would be my Grandma Georgie‘s curious collection of newspaper articles I found during a visit there once. Grandma Georgie clipped newspaper articles that she found interesting, curious or just outright bizarre. Conjoined twins, two headed rattlesnakes – CATFISH DROWNS BOY IN RIVER! Yes, you can go back and read that again…I’ll wait. If  as a child you read that a CATFISH drowns a young boy about your own age while he is swimming in the river, that will have a tendency to stick with you. Now, I should probably point out that my Grandpa Roy frequently caught CATFISH larger than myself at the time…so, you put two and two together you get a young girl who has seen a CATFISH large enough to eat her and you read this bizarre, yellowed newspaper clipping and you come up with a grown adult woman who WILL NOT swim in a lake. Are you kidding me, I have SEEN what is in the lake…I am not even going to go into the pollution, microbes and any other manner of grossness.

So, this may seem a little odd…hmm, she loves boats, won’t swim in lakes. I have been swimming in lakes on occasion and my Mom and Dad can attest to this. In fact during one such outing I was pulled behind a boat, very fast. I wanted off and back in the boat…see above paragraph, plus I’ll add, you know how you catch fish right?! DRAG A LURE THROUGH THE WATER AND SEE WHAT BITES…so I tried yelling slow down, slow down. My Dad heard, “Go faster, Go faster!” and throttled the boat, thus dragging me under the water for an unknown number of knots. (Honestly, as soon as he saw me go under, he stopped the boat…He’s a good Dad!) I have been boating with friends and family and cajoled into getting into the water in the middle of the lake – I kept my FEET touching the BOTTOM of the boat, stayed in the water long enough for everyone to know that I was not putting on a show, I REALLY did not want to be in the water.

So, there you have it – I won’t swim in the lake. I will wade in the water and I have sworn not to pass this madness on to my poor offspring.  Bottom line – you will note none of my boats have slides!