Monday, November 22, 2010

What is this Madness?

There are a lot of funny boat stories that I could get into, and probably will over time – I guess I should start off with why I do not swim in lakes, yes, LOVE boats – will NOT swim in lakes. (Hesitant about the ocean – but I can deal with it, somewhat – but that is another story.)
There is actually more than one reason, but the first would be my Grandma Georgie‘s curious collection of newspaper articles I found during a visit there once. Grandma Georgie clipped newspaper articles that she found interesting, curious or just outright bizarre. Conjoined twins, two headed rattlesnakes – CATFISH DROWNS BOY IN RIVER! Yes, you can go back and read that again…I’ll wait. If  as a child you read that a CATFISH drowns a young boy about your own age while he is swimming in the river, that will have a tendency to stick with you. Now, I should probably point out that my Grandpa Roy frequently caught CATFISH larger than myself at the time…so, you put two and two together you get a young girl who has seen a CATFISH large enough to eat her and you read this bizarre, yellowed newspaper clipping and you come up with a grown adult woman who WILL NOT swim in a lake. Are you kidding me, I have SEEN what is in the lake…I am not even going to go into the pollution, microbes and any other manner of grossness.
So, this may seem a little odd…hmm, she loves boats, won’t swim in lakes. I have been swimming in lakes on occasion and my Mom and Dad can attest to this. In fact during one such outing I was pulled behind a boat, very fast. I wanted off and back in the boat…see above paragraph, plus I’ll add, you know how you catch fish right?! DRAG A LURE THROUGH THE WATER AND SEE WHAT BITES…so I tried yelling slow down, slow down. My Dad heard, “Go faster, Go faster!” and throttled the boat, thus dragging me under the water for an unknown number of knots. (Honestly, as soon as he saw me go under, he stopped the boat…He’s a good Dad!) I have been boating with friends and family and cajoled into getting into the water in the middle of the lake – I kept my FEET touching the BOTTOM of the boat, stayed in the water long enough for everyone to know that I was not putting on a show, I REALLY did not want to be in the water.
So, there you have it – I won’t swim in the lake. I will wade in the water and I have sworn not to pass this madness on to my poor offspring.  Bottom line – you will note none of my boats have slides!

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