Thursday, March 3, 2011

Changing Fortune

“Change has both physical and psychological attributes.”
I have been working really hard at changing my body and trying to get healthy – I have lost almost 100 pounds. I have twenty more to go and I am sure that these last twenty will probably be the hardest twenty that I lose. This is a very physical change for me.
Physically I wear smaller clothes, I have more stamina, my blood sugar is stable (we will not discuss my blood pressure – for whatever reason, it has a mind and plan of its own!), in general I have a longer lifespan at this point after dropping this weight.
This very physical change began with a psychological shift, a change. I had to make the choice that I wanted to be healthy. A complete change has to include both – if you make a physical change without a psychological change then will it last? It happens every day, people lose weight….people gain weight…people lose weight….people gain weight. I have been through it for years! I have lost weight, I have gained weight, I have gone back and forth so many times in so many extremes that my skin may never be the same again. Probably a visual you didn’t need to have, right!
Losing weight has had other psychological attributes for me as well. I feel more confident in my abilities, more comfortable in my skin, more like who I always saw myself as being.  Every so often I catch a glimpse of myself and I do not recognize who I see. Then there are other times that I still see the fat person in me. I still have a hard time believing I do not have to shop at Lane Bryant!! I can shop at normal stores (mostly – I do have a 36”inseam and that limits me somewhat!) The thing is, I have not changed on the inside, I am still the same person.
When I asked some friends what changes they have been through lately, the vast majority of them responded that they had gained weight (except one, she told me she opened a twitter account!). What kind of psychological change happens with that?
These are changes, for the most part, changes we have control over, these physical changes can be altered by ourselves. What about the changes that we have no control over or are caused by things outside of our control?
The spouse that has to face the fact that their partner has committed adultery…what changes might happen here? The woman in a car accident that leaves her face scarred for life? The cancer patient that loses their hair? The family that must face the death of a loved one, whether anticipated or sudden? These changes cause psychological and physical attributes to be sure. If one suffers a psychological trauma, can that cause physical changes? If one suffers physical trauma, can that cause psychological changes?
“Change has both physical and psychological attributes.”
Can I go a little darker here?
Does an alcoholic or drug addict experience changes? Physical? Psychological? An addiction affects both, so it has to have attributes of both. What about the family members of the abuser – it is a major change for them as well. When the choice is made to fight the addiction, more changes happen.
What changes, physical or psychological, occur to a young person after they are molested? This is a major event that changes everything…let that sink in just a minute.
 A physical event, a psychological event – a change…
Many people who have experienced abuse try to block that memory, wipe it from their minds. This is a coping mechanism that works for a time – until something triggers that memory. Some are unable to move past the event and it becomes all encompassing, all devouring, all consuming – the pain and shame become too much to get past. Others are able to pick up and fight and become a voice for the victims, they refuse to give up, they refuse to allow the abuser to continue.
“Change has both physical and psychological attributes.”
I have honestly struggled with this fortune cookie for a couple of days, events have happened, conversations have taken place that make me look a little deeper. My memory takes me places – a simple, trite little reflection seems inappropriate. I have talked to so many people who have experienced major events, major changes that have physical and psychological attributes that I am truly humbled by their experiences – my heart and prayers go out to them.
Let me make one thing very clear – My Life as a Fortune Cookie is not just a silly little thing about a random fortune cookie…I really take time and think about these. Whether or not that is what the person writing them intended, it is something that I am doing. I have been through some major life changes in my years on this planet, and they have left their mark on me. I am also sure that my life is not complete in the changes it will undergo – is yours?
If you answered yes to that question, then you must already be DEAD!
Are you?
Have you shut down? Have you closed your heart and mind to everyone around you? Have you encapsulated yourself to be immune to any changes? If so – seriously? Seriously? Message me, text me, comment to this post and I will physically come and make sure you are still alive!!
Live, Laugh, Love ~
Vanilla Mama
(I would love to give you lucky numbers for this, but….honestly, I can’t find the Fortune – if you could see my desk – kitchen table- where I am posting this from you would understand and nod!) What I will say in its place…make your lucky numbers the birthday days of the people you treasure and love.

1 comment:

And your thoughts???