Hard Fortune

Please, can I have for Christmas?

Advancement will come with hard work.

Promise? Really, can you promise me that? Cause, I have been working 60, 70 hours…sometimes more…and I seem to be spinning my wheels. 

It seems like the harder I work, the more I do, the further behind I fall. How is that possible?

I have two jobs right now – one I really enjoy and the other, I have been doing so long…I don’t know what else to do. The stress of both jobs together seem to be part of the fiber of my being, as does the constant clutter on the flat surfaces of my home. I really am an organized person trapped inside a hamster wheel of never ending tasks. 

The loves of my life…my family, my friends, my home, my writing – that is where I fall behind. The time that I spend with my family is precious. The time I spend with my friends I cherish. The hours I spend in my home – I crave! The moments I get to write, I long for. (Let’s not even mention crocheting, reading and taking some classes.)

I have friends that I consider family, God has blessed me with them. I have no blood sisters, but I have women in my life that I am honored to call my sisters. (We need a GIRL’S NIGHT!) When their hearts hurt, I hurt; when they have joy, I am happy. All of us are so busy with “hard work” and we struggle to find the time to dedicate to this amazing gift we have been given! 

I miss my family with a passion so great it hurts. I want to be there for my grandpa, or at least be able to call him on a regular basis! This amazing man that has survived so much – I look up to him and I am so proud of him! My aunts, uncles, cousins – too much time has passed since I have been able to be with you. My parents, my brother and his family – we used to have dinner almost every weekend. Recently we had a family game night with my brother and his family and I was struck by how much I MISS them! My Mom and Dad, they are a source of strength and inspiration to me. I appreciate their support and love and I hope they know how much I treasure them. (Lord knows, I have been remiss in telling and showing them!)

My husband – I consider us still newlyweds. We’ve been married 5 years and heaven only knows why this precious man puts up with me! He has a wonderful sense of humor, loyal heart and incredible mind, I am so blessed that he loves me! He is my rock and without him, without his love and support I would be lost. 

My own kiddos, I am sorry I cannot even begin to describe how much I miss spending time with them. My oldest, in college – I miss him, he is not terribly far, but it feels like a lifetime away. His caring heart, warm personality and infectious smile…I would prefer to have on a daily basis. My middle son, in high school – what a strong, funny and incredible young man. He is intuitive, random and makes me laugh and think all at the same time. His future is so bright! My little guy – what a trip every day. I have been raising these two older boys, ran a home daycare for 10 years and I have never run across a little boy like him. I can’t wait (oh, wait – YES I can) to see the man he will become. Each of my kiddos, each of their beating hearts and working minds are such a blessing to me and I would/will move heaven and earth to experience each moment I can with them. 

I have truly digressed – 

Advancement will come with hard work. 

I am not afraid of hard work. What I am afraid of is losing precious moments with the people I love. 

Advancement is something I need to be able to support my family, to be able to help them realize their dreams. I will work hard to make sure that I am able to lift them up in any way I can.

To all my online friends that read and follow me…thank you for your patience with me. I know that I am not very consistent with my posts. I do follow back and I do read as much as I can. Thank you! 

Plugging Away here ~

Vanilla Mama

BTW – Seriously, I NEED to start playing some of these numbers…maybe my hard work would be a thing of the past. 24, 33, 37, 41, 42, 44.

Interfering Fortune

Interfering Fortune 

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

I cannot run a marathon. I cannot lift weights. I cannot manage to sit and work on my book every day. I cannot get my butt in skinny jeans or ever in my life be a size 2. I cannot get to sleep without my mind racing 2 million miles an hour. I cannot do electrical work, plumbing and honestly I suck at gardening. I cannot keep fish alive, stay organized or simplify my life. 

I cannot fly.

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

Wow - that is quite a list. My list could honestly go one – and some of these things do interfere with what I can do. 

Really, I have no desire to run a marathon. Seems like a lot of beating up on my poor body. I would love to be able to run – But, I can walk. I love to walk. I do it every day (weather and sick kiddos permitting!).

I cannot lift weights or be a body builder, but honestly all I really need to pick up is my own butt and my kiddo. Speaking of butts – skinny jeans are just wrong, unless you are a twig or a size two. Neither of which is healthy for someone like me. I do not even think my skeleton would fit in a size two skinny jean. I CAN be the healthiest possible. I can eat real food, whole foods and walk – I am cave woman…hear my nom-nom on my homemade jerky!

With a healthy fear of blowing myself up and flooding my house, I know I can call my dad. (Yes, my husband can be handy – but my Dad is a Handy Man’s Handy Man!) He is amazing – perhaps I should pay closer attention when he helps me out, take notes…video…Even though he and my Mom live fairly close, we don’t get to see each other as much as I would like.

With my Black Thumb (which, by the way – my Dad has a Green Thumb!), I am hesitant to go all in and plant a garden, but I CAN keep my ivy alive and try again in the spring. I have a vision in my head of how I would love for it to look, what I would love to grow. I have day dreams of feeding my family with home grown tomatoes, peppers, etc…I’ll try again!

I am the official “Fish Killer” in my family, the fish at the store jump from their tank as soon as walk in…fishicide is less painful than the thought of coming home with me. It’s like they know…kinda creepy! So, since I cannot keep them alive, I CAN refrain from buying more. I think they are too beautiful to bring home to die…and I DON’T do it on purpose.

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

Staying organized is a constant battle, I CAN keep trying and that will help simplify my life. I need to simply – then maybe I could write on my book everyday, maybe I could post my fortunes more often. 

Flying…seriously, that’s what PLANES are for!

My racing brain at night is probably the biggest thing that interferes with what I can do. My walking helps, writing help. But, getting my life simple and organized would probably help the most. 

“Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.”

I am sorry that my posts are so far between. I am sorry that I have a hard time keeping up with some of the wonderful people I have meet through blogging. I cannot promise to get better – but I won’t let that interfere with TRYING!

Live, Laugh, Love ~

Vanilla Mama

A to Z Challenge - Q and R

A to Z Challenge – Q and R



Check out his Cool Paintings!



Well, yesterday was quite a trip! Woke up, couldn’t move my head because my ear hurt so bad, went to urgent care and found out I had a double ear infection and sinus infection. SO – now I am on an antibiotic and WOW some sort of medicine that had me going BLACK at work. I had to come home and I went straight to bed! Thank you for your well wishes and THANK YOU to two wonderful friends – one who made it possible to go home and the other that took me home, there was NO way I could even drive.

I had extra time to think about Q, changed my mind a couple of times…but, still came back to Quote. At the end of every post, my every personal e-mail, on walls I my home you will see Live, Laugh, Love. Am I going to tell you here and now I was signing that in my book SEVEN years ago – almost eight, before it became something you could find in EVERY catalogue and in every WalMart across the nation! I came close to abandoning it, but I will stick with it – since now everyone is changing it. There are a million variations to suit anyone, but I will stick with my original Quote.  I don’t know where I heard it or read it – honestly I thought I was the first one that came up with it….but probably not. (I also thought I was the first to say Wonky, Hinky and Cool Beans…but alas, now I see it in books everywhere! But, I promise you I am the FIRST to say…”What do you want? Wicker?” in answer to customers and children who are impossible to please! )

My Quote – simple, to the point and exactly what everyday should be full of – Live…Live your life! Get up off the couch and LIVE it! Laugh – Everyday you have to smile, no matter how bad it gets, find the something silly to make you laugh. Love – How simple is this, at the very least LOVE yourself. If you can’t muster that find something in your life that you can LOVE…a passion for something, a GUPPY or Sea Monkey…something!

So no matter what, you gotta Live, Laugh and Love – and if you can’t, e-mail me…the Vanilla Mama will help you find something. There are many dark places that life can take you, you have to, have to make the choice to find something.

Now…for R….RITA!

Who is RITA, she is my ghost…was my Ghost. You don’t believe? That’s your choice…but when your 3 year old tells you, “The ghost under the bed doesn’t like us.” You perk up your ears to listen!

Mommy, “What do you mean he doesn’t like us?”

Pop, “Wait…” turns his head like he is listening, “No, it’s okay, she likes us.”

Mommy, shaking a little because it is not the first weird thing that has happened, “Really, does the ghost have a name?”

Pop, listening again…”She likes us and her name is Rita.”

“Okay then, it’s time for us to go in another room!”

Ex-Hubby and I actually at one point called a priest out to do whatever priests do to get rid of haunting and he wouldn’t. We brought a physic to our house and he confirmed…without telling him ANYTHING that there was a child ghost in the house. I had a friend that saw her…I had another friend that WOULD NOT come in my house without me there because one time when she came ALL the cupboards were open. My ex-hubby had the door shaken like someone was trying to get in…no one was home, then all of a sudden a drawer pulled open while he was watching.

I lived there for many years, 13 to be exact. I will tell you straight up – I lived with a little girl ghost, named Rita. Other children in the neighborhood saw her at their houses without knowing about her in our house. She liked being around all the children in my daycare, she liked me (I think), she was sad, lonely, happy and mischievous. She would hide things, she would open cabinets, she would tease me with cold fingers up the back of my neck.

At one point I was alone in my house…separation, divorce, kids gone…I had never really been alone, truly alone until that point. I was in my kitchen having a drink of some sort and I felt her, cold and prickly and I told her, “I don’t know why you are here, but I accept your presence. Be nice and we will get along just fine.” The atmosphere changed and we continued like that for several years. When I finally was moving out of the house to get married to my wonderful husband I actually invited her to come with us. I never felt her again.

I don’t know why she was there, I don’t know why she was in other houses throughout the neighborhood, but I know she was there. You can believe or not believe…that is again your choice…but, I know. I also know that after I left my old house…people would live there for 3-6 months and then MOVE out! I will tell her story someday.

So, there you have Q and R –

Live, Laugh, Love ~

Vanilla Mama

A to Z Challenge - H

No, I don't live up north. Apparently I don't
take picture of my house unless it snows!

A to Z Challenge – H

I missed yesterday for the challenge, but since Sunday is a free day I already knew that I could do a makeup.

H is for Home!

I love my house, I love my home…needs a lot of work and our foundation needs a few piers to get leveled, flower beds are overgrown and all around it needs updating…but I do love my house, my home. My deck is going to need washing and resealing, I am getting to the point of needing to replace some furniture, but no matter what I am always glad when I come home or get to spend any time at home. Especially when my family is home too – although some nice quiet time alone enjoying a glass of wine reading a book is absolutely divine!

I have a little plaque that my wonderful hubby and I purchased within the first couple years of our marriage – “Home is where your story begins.” Nothing could be further from the truth – our homes define us in many ways. We showcase our personal style, raise our children, entertain our friends and family, relax and be ourselves – may even walk naked through it. It’s our place, our space – our house, our home!

Even now while I am sitting in my well worn padded kitchen seat with a table strewn full of paperwork and toys, I am home! I picked this home upon sight when wonderful hubby and I were engaged – it was in the perfect location, right school district, on a cul de sac, with a big yard and horses right behind us in a neighbor’s yard with a hole cut in our fence for them to stick their heads through to get apples. (No I don’t live out in the sticks, and that is what made me fall in love so quick, it feels like I am out in the country, but my grocery store is literally within walking distance!) We had our wedding reception here, in fact!

This is going to be a short post, because I really have not home at all this weekend. I have my lovely red wine in my Love wine glass, a long awaited movie in the bluray player and a very patient wonderful hubby that I would like to spend some time with in my home!

Live, Laugh, Love ~

Vanilla Mama